Late DX older Autistics struggling with Social Media 2 connect.

As an older late DX autistic I have trouble connecting with the online autistic community. Came to this site by chance. Am still figuring out myself since my diagnosis. Am sure I’ve made many mistakes trying to connect .

After decades of being excluded it is easy to take offence when my friendly overture is ignored at a Workshop,I take it as a conscious rejection instead of a by product of the other’s autism.  Results in a wariness to approach younger autistic adults. It can feel that there is a big invisible sign saying ” no autistics over x years welcome”.

It is difficult to deal with  decades of exclusion by NTs  followed by perceived exclusion by those who espouse Inclusion. Is there a support avenue for older autistics whose birth year plight hasn’t provided a DX by middle age nor equipped them to be included via social media etc?

Author: privatepersonblog

Late Diagnosed Autistic looking thru' kaleidescope of life aka A.Morand

20 thoughts on “Late DX older Autistics struggling with Social Media 2 connect.”

  1. Hi there! Nice to “meet” you on here, I’m Amy, I’ve shared your blog post on Twitter hoping that it will connect you with some other Autistic bloggers too 😊 it can be really lonely in the NT world, I’ve found blogging to be a great way to connect – along with Twitter, but that can be a minefield to navigate until you get the hang of it! Looking forward to reading more blogs of yours 😊

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    2. Yep, I agree with Amy. I’ve found WordPress to be a godsend, as well as Twitter, and also Facebook! I have a personal account on there, but I set up a new, fresh, separate account for my blog so that I could keep things “just between us spectrum people” and speak more freely. (It’s NOT that we’re second class; I’m just not “out” in my professional life, due to misconceptions about the spectrum in my area; my career would be very sensitive to that). 😊 That’s an option for the people who want to connect more personally. You could do that with your blog, too, if you want to connect as a person on the spectrum with other people on the spectrum, if you’re in a similar position to mine. 😊

      I also set up a page for the blog, the kind that someone can “Like”, in case the other person prefers a less personal connection but still wants to interact.

      That seems to work well for me; everybody is different, but hopefully it helps ❤️

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  2. I don’t know about anything beyond social media I’m afraid, but wanted to say hello anyway. I joined Twitter specifically to access the community. It’s taken some getting used to! At first it felt like screaming into the void, but now it feels a lot easier, and everyone has been very kind.

    If you do decide to join then I’m @outfoxgloved on there and I would very much like to “meet” you. But I don’t blame you at all if you decide against it.

    Unfortunately being autistic doesn’t mean you’ll find other autistics with anything else in common in the real world. I’ve struggled finding real life autistic people who I can bond with like that. I know that feeing of rejection only to well.

    I’m sorry I don’t have any practical solutions, I just wanted to reach out to you and tell you you’re not alone, because you’re not.

    All the best
    Rhi

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  3. This is a really important point you’re making. Wondering what can be done (practically) to help. I’d be happy to do something like write a blog on the practicalities of using WordPress or Twitter or something like that (for people of all ages – I also worry that our use of online spaces is very exclusionary to members of our community who have learning styles/needs that not accommodated by our very verbal online spaces).

    Though you seem to have at least some of the practicalities sorted in putting this site together, so don’t want to patronise either. If you’d like to discuss anything via email, feel free to contact me at autistic.academic@yahoo.com

    Sorry not to be more immediately helpful and to put the onus back on you to suggest things (I personally hate when people do that) – would just really welcome some guidance as to what I, personally, might be able to offer to help.

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      1. Cool – maybe this is something we can be a bit more clear and organised about as a community. It bothers me when communities that seek to be welcoming end up (mostly inadvertently) being exclusionary. There’s a really interesting book by Barbara Macdonald and Cynthia Rich called “Look me in the eye” that talks about ageing in relation to feminism and lesbianism – and how the women’s movement wasn’t (at the time) dealing well with issues of ageing.

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  4. Hi, I’m sorry you’re struggling and I hope the comments above are providing some comfort and reassurance. I’m a bit rubbish at Twitter and prefer facebook, it seems a bit more indepth and personal.
    I don’t know if you have a Facebook account but if you do you’re welcome to join a group I’m a member of: British Women with Aspergers – UK Connect Group . We be got member from all walks of life and all ages and I’ve found it so friendly and welcoming, finally I’ve found some people who are like me – this has never happened!
    Obviously I don’t relate to everyone on the group etc and there are discussions with differing opinions but I think that helps us to develop etc.
    I hope you’re ok and I’m sorry you’re feeling excluded xxx

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  5. Hi, I’m Scott. I was just diagnosed a few months ago at the age of 51, so I understand some of the disconcerting effect that can have. I always avoided most social media for different reasons, but had been involved in the blogosphere throughout its heyday (including hosting blogs for others long before I started one of my own) and had been pulled into twitter very early on (2008) by a friend. I found that something in the brevity and structure of twitter just worked for me, so I have been on ever since. I’m @tmorizot there.

    Those are two places where there are plenty of late diagnosed (though for some that can mean being diagnosed at 16 so the meaning of the term is flexible) autistic people. Some autistic people do videos on Youtube instead, some of which are helpful. I’ll learn from anyone, regardless of their age, if they have something to share I find helpful. And from my perspective, an 18 year old who has been diagnosed for two years has had 8 times as long as I have to understand and digest what that means and how to adapt.

    I don’t know any other autistic adults in person. (I’m not fond of the phrase “in real life” since my life online is simply an extension and part of my whole life. It’s no less “real” than any other part.) I’m afraid I have no advice in that arena. The thought of everything required to find and attend something organized is … daunting.

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  6. Hi, I commented but it’s either waiting for moderation or has been rejected (that’s ok); I’ve realised that I assumed you’re a female and for that I’m sorry. I included a link to a British Aspie Women’s group on Facebook and I realise that it may not be appropriate.
    I sincerely hope I haven’t offended you, and I did actually mean to mention that I am also a member of mixed gender groups too but I forgot and I’m sorry.
    Xxx

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    1. I’m struggling today!!!! I also forgot to mention that I’m another “missed” diagnosis too; I realised I was an Aspie 9 years ago and it’s taken me until this year to pluck up the courage to seek an official diagnosis x

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  9. Hi! So happy to find your blog! Following 😊. It’s cool to see many others from the “Twitter gang” here, too! I blog under a different name because I run 3 blogs under this account (lol) but you probably know me as The Silent Wave ❤️

    I’m looking forward to reading your posts! I know this isn’t an easy undertaking and I admire that you did it! ❤️

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